Graduation and the End of Child Support Payments

This was on a website.

Contributed by: Michael Rule on 3/27/2007

A year or so ago I read a column in the Rocky Mtn. News written by a lady (I forget her name) who was attending her child's High School graduation. She overheard a father commenting something to the effect "No more child support payments!" She went on to say how terrible it was that this is what he was focusing on when it should be the child's graduation, it shouldn't be about the money, blah, blah, blah.

Well, guess what. My son graduates in May. I just wrote out my support check for April. His mom and younger brother are moving out of state soon after his graduation. He will most likely be staying with me until he goes to college. What all that means to me is this; one more check to write for May and no more child support payments!

In honor of that special occasion, I wish to show another angle about child support, possibly in defense of that anonymous man who was overheard by that forgotten woman. I am writing in support of every man who loves his children, pays his support, and can't wait until the last payment has been posted.

I have been paying child support for over 15 years now. At times I have been a little late, I'll admit, but I am current with my payments to date. I understand my child needs my financial assistance. I understand the court decides how much that should be, and I pay it. I even agreed with my son's mom to pay an extra $80.00 a month for health insurance.

Here is a point that should be understood. I have no say on how that money is spent. I don't decide if he has good food to eat or bad. I don't decide if he goes shopping for clothes at the thrift store or Park Meadows Mall. To make sure he at least has good shoes for track and cross-country I pay for those out of my pocket. I also paid for his braces out of my own pocket.

Now, before you get the wrong impression, this is not an attack on my son's mother.I think his mom does a reasonably good job of providing for him. If nothing else the woman can stretch a buck. Despite the fact she once accepted my additional $$ for insurance for 6 months while (as I found out later) he was uninsured. This is not a personal attack. As a matter of fact, it isn't an attack at all.

When my son gets to college, he will still need some financial assistance from me. At that point in time it will become an arrangement between him and I. No more middle-mom. At that point it switches from child support to help getting through college. Any checks I write will be filled out with his name on them. We will discuss together how that money is used.

Do I love my son? Of course! Do I mind supporting him financially? Of course not! Will I miss writing a check to my ex every month? No!

So if you see me at the local pub sometime next month toasting my last child support payment, please don't give me a lecture on misplaced priorities. Especially if you are someone who has never paid a child support payment in their life.